


Where Dreams Live

by RatOuttaHell



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, F/F, Trans Female Character, and angst because like, fluff because hell yeah, it's Penny y'know, just like... one overt reference to it, references to alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 02:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatOuttaHell/pseuds/RatOuttaHell
Summary: Penny used to dream of a better life before life got the better of her. Maru's the girl with stars in her eyes, and Penny doesn't dare to hope that there's a place for the two of them together in a world like this one.





	Where Dreams Live

**Author's Note:**

> soooo the title of this on google docs is literally "I NEED TO WRITE PENNY/MARU FIC" because I was drunk and half-asleep and *needed* to do something with this pairing. like, I saw them sit on the bench together and immediately decided that they were girlfriends. anyway, I'm not happy with this title at all and might change it if I ever decide to go back and edit this fic (which needs some polishing imo).
> 
> for context, I use notsnuffie's diverse stardew portraits, which affects how I picture the characters and explains why I do things like make references to penny being transgender.

When she was younger, a child oblivious to everything around her, Penny had dreams. She could picture the future in her head, and it was different every week - there was one where she was a firefighter, one where she was a florist at some cute shop in the city, or a painter or a doctor or, even better, an  _ animal _ doctor. It hadn’t taken long for those dreams to wither and die like the browned, scorched plants she could never seem to take care of. And how could she be a doctor if she couldn’t keep a plant alive? 

How could she be any of what she wanted to be when she spent every day struggling to keep her mother alive? 

She had learned early on that some people were made for dreams and some just… weren’t. Penny fell into the latter camp. Girls whose fathers disappeared, whose mothers stumbled into their trailers at two in the morning reeking of stale beer, they were not made for dreaming. Penny told herself, mature and tempered at the ripe old age of ten, that this was okay. She would spend the rest of her life cleaning up the trailer and doing the dishes and tending to her mother’s hangovers and it would be okay. Someone had to do it, didn’t they? And when she started teaching the kids, it was sort of the same. Someone had to do it. 

Penny had never been able to go off to a school in the city like some of the kids in town. She’d done a homeschool program, which her mother was supposed to facilitate, but which she’d ended up deftly managing for herself. Everything that she’d learned she’d figured out through flimsy internet connections and books in the town library, and she intended to pass that all onto Jas and Vincent. Hopefully, once they got a little older, the two of them would be able to go off to a real school, and become washouts who were chained to the town like ill-treated dogs. 

Dreams were not for her. Books, though? Books could be for her. In her books she became a pirate who could whistle up a wind to fly herself away from danger. Or a princess who saved herself from an unwanted marriage by running off to a dragon. She could even be someone almost real, like a determined lawyer fighting for a just client. 

The problem with books, though, was that the worlds went dormant when she closed them. As soon as the pages were once again safe inside their covers, Penny was back in a world where dinner needed to be made and vomit needed to be cleaned up and someone had to do it, didn’t they? And “someone” always meant her. Books could be more painful than helpful, sometimes. The shock of being pulled out of a fantasy almost wasn’t worth the fantasy in the first place. But they were all she had. 

Or, almost all she had.

Because there was this girl who came through her town, and  _ she _ .  _ She _ was “something.” She spent most of her time by the mountains, but she would come through town to work at the clinic on Tuesdays and Thursdays, wearing clean blue scrubs and her dark hair pulled back. From the second she first saw this girl, Penny knew that she should be jealous of her. Hadn’t Penny wanted to be a doctor, once? And what had this girl, around her age or maybe even a year or two younger, done to deserve one of the lives Penny had dreamed of? 

But Penny couldn’t feel jealous when she saw this girl. There was just something radiant about her. A few months after she started to work at the clinic, she started coming around town more often, wearing overalls smudged with grease and dirt and a serene smile Penny wasn’t sure she would ever be able to manage for herself. After a while, she developed a routine of sitting at one of the benches in town for maybe an hour or so before going about the rest of her daily business. 

This last part wouldn’t have been notable if the bench in question hadn’t been the one Penny liked to sit on. 

There was plenty of room for two people - maybe more - on the bench, but Penny’s stomach clenched curiously whenever she saw the other girl. Her breath caught, her heart raced. She’d always been shy around new people, but this was just ridiculous.  _ She’s just another person, _ Penny thought to herself.  _ Stop being silly and sit on the bench with her. _

Easier thought than done. Every day when she walked by the bench, her heart did that pounding thing and her hands started to shake and she ended up going past it and resting in the grass without even looking at the girl sitting there. The grass was nice, but the bench was where she went to daydream, to live out silly little fantasies she reminded herself over and over again could never come true. And… and she wanted to meet the girl. She’d seen other townspeople talking to her, watched her smile transform her face, heard her laugh like rainbow-sheen bubbles that burst in the air. She wanted to talk to that girl so, so badly. But she couldn’t. It was just another dream, like painters and pirates. 

But maybe, sometimes, a dream could be made real with the right few words. 

“Did you want to sit here?” asked the girl on the bench. It had been weeks since Penny had started avoiding that bench, resigned to her new life in the grass. Not looking up from her concentrated gaze on her feet, she nodded. The girl patted the spot beside her and Penny slid into it wordlessly. 

“I noticed that you always stop right before you get here,” said the girl. “I didn’t take it from you, did I?”

“No, no,” said Penny softly. “It’s a town bench. Anyone can sit here.” The girl nodded. 

“Fair,” she said. “But I thought I’d ask, you know?” Penny just nodded again, smelling laundry detergent and something vaguely chemical. They sat quietly for a moment before the girl turned to Penny and extended her hand. 

“I’m Maru, by the way,” she said, a big smile on her face. Tentatively, Penny reached out and took her hand. The brown skin was warm and rough. Penny’s stomach clenched again. 

“Penny,” she said quietly. Maru inclined her head towards Penny, questioning. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “What was that?” Penny could feel her face tinting red. 

“Penny,” she said a bit louder. “Sorry, I don’t always speak up.” She didn’t always like her voice.

“It’s fine,” said Maru. “My brother’s pretty quiet, too. His name’s Sebastian - do you know him?” 

“Oh!” said Penny. “Yes, I do.” Sebastian had started coming into town much earlier than his sister. He ran with Abigail and Sam’s crowd. Penny thought that maybe they had gone to school together. She sometimes thought how maybe, in a different world, she could have gone to school with them, too. Been a part of their crowd. But that was another world, and it was pointless to think about because all it did was make her sad that it could never be true for her. 

“He’s actually my half-brother,” clarified Maru. Her smile faltered. “I’m… I’m not sure that he likes me very much.” Penny wasn’t sure what to do with this sort of personal information. She wasn’t very used to talking to anyone except the children and her mother. 

“Family can be difficult,” she settled on. She bit her lower lip. “My mother….” She trailed off, left the sentence hanging. Maru probably knew about her mother by now. Everybody in Pelican Town did. Even though Maru was on the outskirts, it wasn’t exactly a secret that Penny’s mother was the town alcoholic. Or, one of them. Still, Penny couldn’t bear to talk about her mother in front of this bright, lovely girl. If Maru was Sebastian’s sister, then Maru’s mother must be Robin, the carpenter, and her father Demetrius, the scientist. Penny bet that Maru didn’t have to go home and clean up and nurse her parents’ headaches. 

Penny realized that she hadn’t spoken in at least a full minute. She opened her mouth and started to stammer, but Maru laid a hand on top of hers. It was calloused, but gentle. Penny looked up and saw her again, all gentle smiles and big, brown eyes hidden behind scratched and smudged lenses. And it was then that Penny realized what the clenching feeling in her stomach was, why her heart was zipping around like a hummingbird in her chest. It wasn’t just anxiety, it was….

Oh. This wasn’t good.

* * *

 

It wasn’t so much people’s disapproval that Penny was worried about. When she had come out before, as trans, there were townspeople who shunned her and those who gossiped and those who plain-old didn’t seem to care that much. It hadn’t actually had that much of an effect on her life. The kids didn’t mind, their Jodie and Marnie didn’t mind, so Penny hadn’t lost anything that important. The issue was just that she… she  _ couldn’t _ like someone. Liking someone could lead to loving someone. That was dream material, not cut out for real life. Not for her. 

Because Penny was just a gateway to a mess. She picked up after her mother, she did dishes, she lived in a trailer with ripped-up wall benches and clothes scattered over the floor. Even if she wanted to (which she didn’t), she couldn’t even have other people in the house. That farmer had stopped by once, helped Penny pick up some clothes, and her mother had yelled at her for letting someone else clean up their mess.  _ Her _ mess. Which was Penny’s alone to take care of. 

Everything she did had to be by herself. No one else could figure into the equation without radical rewriting. And Penny had never been radical. She didn’t want to ruin this girl by pulling her into the disaster area to which she had become accustomed. 

But still, she kept going to that bench. 

Maru was… something else. Maru sat on the bench with her, talked about the stars and planets, about life in outer space, about artificial intelligence in robots. Things Penny had read about in books but never considered as reality. Even the way Maru talked about  _ dirt _ made it seem like she and Penny were living in a magical world. No, a scientific world, which was almost better. When Maru particularly enthusiastic, she used these wide movements of her hands. So wide that she had accidentally knocked Penny in the face before, then apologized profusely, a blush warming her face. Penny had just laughed it off. It was okay. She loved to watch Maru’s excitement. 

“Hey,” said Maru one day as they were sitting on the bench together. “Do you want to come over tonight and look through my telescope? The skies are supposed to be clear. Perfect weather.” Penny giggled. 

“I’ve seen the stars before,” she said. It was true; Penny had heard that there were so many lights in the city that it was hard to see the stars at all, but Pelican Town didn’t have that problem. It was one of the few things that made her feel like staying there her whole life wouldn’t be so bad. A small comfort. 

“No, no,” said Maru, smiling back. “Not like this. Come over to my place at nine. You can’t miss it; it’s the only house up on the mountain. Besides Linus’s tent, which isn’t exactly a house, but you get what I mean.” She was rambling just a little bit. Penny loved it. Her heart did a flip and then sank back down to her stomach. 

“I’m not sure,” she said. “My mother… I’m not sure that I should leave, in case she comes back while I’m gone.”

“Oh,” said Maru with a small frown. “Do you think she would?” Penny considered. When she thought about it, the excuse was rather weak. Even if her mother passed out at the bar, it was considered such a normal occurrence that no one would even bring her home until closing time. It wasn’t really her mother she was worried about. It was the idea of seeing Maru outside of their casual daily interactions. And that was something she couldn’t justify without letting Maru in on the secret. 

“No,” she said finally. “No, I don’t think that she would. I’ll be there at nine.”

* * *

 

Penny wasn’t used to being outside so late in the evening. Even in spring, it was chillier than she had expected. The green floral-print dress with short sleeves seemed like a mistake, even if it was the nicest piece of clothing she owned. Not that she was getting dressed up, because this was nothing. Just a friend seeing another friend and watching the stars together. Nothing romantic about that at all. 

She sighed to herself. Who was she kidding? 

The hike to Maru’s house warmed her up a bit, though not quite enough to stop her from getting goosebumps all over her arms. From the small fenced-in area beside her house, Maru waved and grinned. Then she must have noticed that Penny’s arms were wrapped around her chest, because she frowned a little bit. 

“Are you cold?” she asked as Penny approached. Penny shook her head, then nodded a moment later. 

“A little bit,” she said. “But it’s nothing to worry a--” Before Penny could finish her sentence, Maru had run back inside her house. Less than a minute later she returned with a jacket, brown suede on the outside with a fuzzy lining. 

“Take this,” she said to Penny, holding it out. Penny obliged, shrugging on the jacket. She and Maru weren’t quite the same size - the jacket was a bit short and tight around the shoulders - but it was better than the short sleeves of her dress. It was then that Penny noticed that Maru was wearing her usual outfit of overalls and a t-shirt, her arms all but bare. 

“You aren’t cold?” she asked. 

“Nope,” said Maru cheerily. “I run a bit warm, so I hardly ever need a jacket. Don’t worry about me, though; come here and look at the stars!” She waved Penny over and motioned towards the telescope. It was a fancy-looking thing, all white and shiny. Penny realized that she had never seen one in real life. She squinted one eye shut and placed the other one against the eyepiece. 

“Wow,” she whispered. There were so many more stars than she could have imagined just looking at the sky. Here in the mountains the night presented almost complete darkness, so Penny could see what felt like the entire universe. She swiveled the telescope around until she could see the moon, a bright, flat disc in the sky, huge and covered in craters. She moved it again and saw a roundish oblong patch shining bright. Penny removed her face from the telescope and pointed at the patch, much fuzzier to the naked eye. She pointed. 

“What’s that?” she asked Maru. Maru smiled broadly.

“That’s the Andromeda Galaxy,” she said. 

“Wow,” Penny whispered again. A whole other galaxy, full of unfamiliar planets, and she had never noticed it before? Maru pointed to the telescope. 

“Keep looking,” she said. Penny obliged, placing her eye against the telescope again and moving it around until she caught sight of something interesting. 

“Oh, Maru!” she said excitedly. “Is that a planet? It had stripes! And that one had a ring around it!”

“You’re seeing Jupiter,” said Maru. “And Saturn. I told you space looked different like this.” 

“You’re right,” said Penny. She looked back at Maru again. “And you think… you think that there could be life on these other planets? Intelligent life?” 

“Probably not in our galaxy, no,” said Maru. “But given the vastness of space, of infinity, I think that it’s impossible that we are alone in this universe.” Hesitantly, she took Penny’s hand. “We aren’t alone. None of us.” Penny hoped that her blush wasn’t visible in the darkness.

* * *

 

Before long, the two had abandoned the telescope in favor of sitting on the stone in Maru’s yard, gazing up at the stars unaided. 

“I never really wanted to go into Pelican Town,” said Maru. “I liked it up here, where I could build my robots and watch the stars in peace. My brother and mom were always traveling down there, but my father mostly stayed here with me. If it seems like my social skills are a little off, that might be why. It wasn’t until a few months ago that my dad convinced me to go down to the beach to study the marine life, so I had to go through the town. It’s nice. And now that I’m older I should start paying for my own robot parts and chemicals, so I got a job at the clinic. I like being here better, still.” She paused. “I would’ve come sooner if I had known it would mean meeting you, though.” Penny could have cried.

“I’m glad I met you, too,” she said. Maru squeezed her hand and then went silent for a short time. 

“I was homeschooled,” she said eventually. “Which is probably why you didn’t see me at one of the out-of-town schools.” 

“I never went to school,” said Penny, her voice quiet and ashamed. “I learned everything I know from the library. I… I try to teach the kids what I can, but I wish sometimes that they had a real teacher. Maybe when they get older they’ll get to go to an out-of-town school, but for now they’re stuck with me.”

“Don’t say that,” said Maru. “Vincent and Jas are lucky to have you. You’re so smart! It’s even more amazing that you taught yourself everything.” Penny shook her head. 

“You’re the smart one,” she said. “I’m just… poor and mediocre. I’m afraid of ruining the children somehow. They depend on me, but I’m a mess.” 

“But you’re amazing!” said Maru, her voice echoing through the mountains. When she next spoke, it was much quieter. “You say such mean things about yourself sometimes. It’s not fair. You’re one of my favorite people and you keep tearing yourself down. Penny, I…” 

Maru leaned over and kissed her. Her lips were soft, so much softer than her hands, and Penny couldn’t help but be self-conscious about how chapped her own lips must be. But before long she found herself kissing back, soft and careful. She didn’t want to mess this up, didn’t want to ruin it. But she was the one who broke it off in the end, a fearful jolt running through her body. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I have to go. My mother will be back soon and… and… I’m sorry.” 

She stood and all but ran off, still wearing Maru’s jacket.

* * *

 

For the next several weeks, Penny avoided the bench where she and Maru usually sat. Maru, she noticed, didn’t do the same. Whenever Penny caught a glimpse of her (which she tried very hard not to do), Maru was sitting with her head bent, staring down at her folded hands. It broke Penny’s heart. But it was better for both of them not to let Maru get dragged into the mess of Penny’s life. 

Unfortunately, that mess now included the start of a nasty cold. It wasn’t terribly unusual, since she worked with children. Jas or Vincent caught something, they put their grubby little hands on her (she told them to wash them, she did, but they were children), she got sick. Jas had been at home with Marnie and Shane for the last couple of days, so Penny knew that the scratchiness in her throat was more than just a tickle. 

Still, it wasn’t something she needed to see Harvey about. A cold was a cold. She would keep working through it, as always, and get over it in a couple of weeks. It tended to take a bit longer for her to recover from being sick than the kids because she rarely found the time to eat properly or sleep, but she always got better. Truth be told, she couldn’t really afford a doctor. She knew that if she just asked, Harvey would probably help her out with the costs, but she didn’t want to do that. She couldn’t just ask Jodie or Marnie for sick pay while she stayed home and rested, either. And Vincent still needed a teacher. 

None of this was even touching on her avoidance of Maru. Which was good, because Penny didn’t want to touch her. It. The issue, she didn’t want to touch the avoidance issue.

But she just got sicker. What she had thought was a cold was advancing into shakes and chills all the way down to her marrow. Everything hurt - her bones, her muscles, keeping her eyes open, keeping her eyes closed. And with no one to take care of her, she wasn’t going to get any better. Unlike most people, people with normal lives and families, she couldn’t count on her mother to look after her. She was pretty sure that her mother had only noticed that she was sick because the trailer was becoming less clean, to which she gave a semi-concerned “you really oughtta take care of that” before going on with her business. 

So, on a warm spring Wednesday, Penny wrapped herself in an downy, olive green winter coat, pockets filled with tissues, and made her slow and painful way to the doctor’s office. Though she tried to pretend that she hadn’t been thinking about it, Penny was also quietly glad that she was going on one of the days Maru wasn’t working. Not that there was anything to think about. They had kissed, it had been a mistake, it was over, and Penny wasn’t going to look back. Not at Maru, not at the mountains, not at the stars. 

“Well,” said Harvey, after making Penny go through the temperature-taking and ear-checking and “say ahhhh” portion of their visit. “It seems that you have a pretty serious case of the flu. There’s no way this could’ve developed overnight. Why didn’t you come in sooner?” Penny didn’t know if her face could flush any more than it already had, but she felt herself blush feverishly. 

“I thought I could take care of it myself,” she said hazily. Every word was a struggle to get out through the fog engulfing her brain. Plus, it kind of looked like the doctor had two heads right now. That probably wasn’t good. The doctor looked puzzled for a moment before his face softened. 

“Penny,” he said. “There are some things you can’t take care of by yourself.” In half a second, he was back in business mode. “This is one of them. This season’s strain of flu is particularly stubborn, so I’m going to give you an antiviral drug to help combat it, plus some decongestants that should help clear up your sinuses. You can go sit in the waiting room while I prepare them.” Penny nodded obediently, but her head was already calculating how much this whole mess was going to cost her. A doctor visit plus two kinds of medicine? There was no way that wouldn’t make a dent in her limited income. She was so busy fretting over money that she almost didn’t hear the clinic door open. 

“Penny?” asked a voice from the doorway. Penny turned her head to see, over the fluffy mass of her coat, Maru standing at the entrance to the clinic, wearing light blue scrubs and her hair pulled back. 

“M-Maru,” she stammered. “What are you doing here?” 

“Harvey asked me to come in today to help him with some research,” said Maru. She approached Penny, who felt her bones finally start to warm in her body. “What are you doing here? Are you alright?” Penny looked away and nodded. 

“It’s just flu,” she said. In her periphery, Penny could see that the corners of Maru’s lips were turned down in a worried frown. Penny had passed a mirror since she’d gotten sick - she knew what she looked like. Pale skin almost grey aside from bright red splotches on her cheeks and nose, dark circles under her eyes, lips chapped from breathing through her mouth. How embarrassing.

“That’s still serious, though!” Penny nodded again, lips pursed. Maru must have sensed that she didn’t want to continue with this line of conversation and dropped the topic. She didn’t stop talking, though, instead lowering her voice until it was almost a whisper and continuing the one-sided conversation. 

“Penny, about last time I saw you, I’m…” 

“It’s fine,” said Penny shortly, even though there were tears welling at the corner of her eyes. She coughed to conceal it, hoping Maru would assume her eyes were watering because of the flu. Maru looked like she was going to speak again, but the doctor’s call saved Penny. 

“I have your medicine all ready,” he said as Penny approached the counter. “Now, between the medication and the visit, that’ll be…” He paused as he his the equal button on the calculator, then looked up at Penny, smiling. “25 gold.” Penny’s jaw just about dropped to the floor. 

“Doctor,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s no way that can be possible. You couldn’t run a clinic on that kind of money. Tell me how much it really is, I can take it.” She couldn’t take it, but she wasn’t about to admit that. 

“It’s g5 Gold,” Harvey repeated, still smiling. “I couldn’t possibly charge more for someone gracious enough to educate our town’s children.” 

“But,” started Penny. That was dirt cheap, a fraction of the cost Harvey must charge other people. But the doctor just reached out and took her hand, which had been resting on the counter, giving it a light squeeze. 

“Let me do this,” he said. Penny closed her mouth and nodded her acquiescence. She reached into her coat pocket to pull out the required fee. Averting her eyes, she placed the money on the counter and took the bag of pill bottles Harvey handed her.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, and started shuffling her way to the door. Before she could reach it, however, a hand grabbed at her slender wrist. Penny turned to see Maru standing behind her, holding onto her arm, her expression pained. 

“Penny, please,” said Maru. Penny shook her head and jerked her arm free from Maru’s gentle grasp.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, sounding cold even to her own ears. This time when she went to leave, Maru didn’t stop her. Some part of Penny wished that she would. Wished that she would spin her around and kiss her again and tell her all about the stars and how maybe someday they could even stand on another  _ planet _ , one far away from the nightmarish world Penny lived in. But she didn’t, and Penny went home alone.

* * *

 

It only took a few days for the medicine to take effect. Penny’s head cleared, her bones stopped aching. Normal color returned to her cheeks and she could breathe through her nose again. With the energy she’d regained, she was better able to take care of the house again. Summer was rolling in, and Penny had even been able to change out the decorations on their trailer to match the turn of seasons. Soon, she would be able to go back to work again. Jas had gotten over her illness a bit before Penny (Marnie, ever the responsible one, had taken the girl to the doctor right away), so both the kids were in need of a teacher. Soon, everything would be back to normal. Teaching, cleaning, reading… keeping her head down and not gazing up at the night sky and thinking about-- 

No. She wouldn’t think about her. It wasn’t fair to even put Maru in her mind. Not with the hurricane of issues Penny would bring along with her. 

As it turned out, the universe wouldn’t let Penny move past Maru. Or rather, Maru wouldn’t let Penny move past Maru. The moment she heard the knock on the trailer door, Penny knew exactly who it was. She froze while doing the dishes, hot water continuing to run in a stream over her motionless hands, before turning off the faucet and making her way through the short distance to the door. Sure enough, who was on the other side but Maru, hands stuffed in the pockets of her trademark overalls and wearing a sheepish smile. 

“Hi, Penny,” she said. “Can I come in?” Penny’s eyes darted around the trailer. No clothes on the floor, no trash, stains mostly removed. This was as good as it got. 

“I can stand out here if you want, too,” said Maru. “It’s a nice day.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” said Penny. “Come in.” Awkwardly, Penny stepped out of the way to let Maru through the door. To her credit, Maru didn’t do the normal look-around people did when they saw where Penny lived - shocked, pitying, a little disgusted. Instead, she stared into Penny’s eyes, direct and intense. 

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry,” she said. “What happened at my house… I guess I was just reading the mood wrong. I don’t do well with that kind of thing sometimes. And I don’t know if you’re even… I shouldn’t have done that. Please, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. Can we just move past it?” Penny tore her eyes away from that piercing brown gaze, her face warming at the indirect mention of the kiss. 

“Sorry,” said Maru. “Was I making too much eye contact? I’m not very good at this.” 

“It’s not you,” said Penny. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. “It was never you. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have let you think….”

“That’s not your fault,” said Maru, cutting her off. “You weren’t leading me on or anything. I shouldn’t have assumed that you liked me.” 

“That’s not it!” cried Penny, head jerking up to meet Maru’s eyes again. “I  _ do _ like you. I like you a lot. And I wanted to kiss you. That’s the problem. I don’t want to drag you into this… this  _ mess! _ You’re someone who can actually go somewhere in life, and I’m going to be stuck here forever, taking care of my mom. You could  _ do _ things, make changes, get  _ out _ of here. All I can do is have stupid, useless dreams that could never come true. You don’t want to get tied down here by someone like me!” 

Penny realized that she was shouting, that tears were pouring down her face in rivulets. She tried and failed to wipe them away. But Maru was there, holding tight to her forearms, crying with her. 

“I don’t want you to…” Maru hiccuped. “How could you think of yourself like that? You’re one of the smartest, kindest people I know-” Penny was about to interject, but Maru didn’t let her, “-you could go anywhere you want, Penny!”

“But my mother,” started Penny. Maru shook her head. 

“Your mother is an adult,” she said. “And so are you. And so am I. Penny, you don’t have to be with me if you don’t want to, but you can’t decide what’s best for me, either! If you want to be with me, be with me! We could go anywhere.” She shook her head and smiled, tears shining on her face. “We could go to the stars together.” 

“The stars?” asked Penny. Suddenly, she felt something shaking her shoulders, something that wasn’t sobs this time. Oh, Yoba, she was  _ laughing _ . 

“What’s so funny?” asked Maru, still smiling. 

“‘We could go to the stars’?” asked Penny again through snorts. Really? She was snorting now? “Maru, I didn’t know that you were so corny!” 

“Hey!” protested Maru. “I meant it literally.” 

“I know you did,” said Penny. The laughter died down, and Penny took Maru’s work-roughened hand in her own. She smiled in a watery sort of way. “I love it.” Maru’s cheeks colored. 

“We’ll probably be gone by the time humans reach most of these stars,” she admitted, looking away. “But I’ve got a telescope, so I can still see the ones in your eyes.” This time, Maru was the one who started laughing, with Penny following soon after. She leaned over and planted a kiss on Maru’s cheek, and then another one on her lips. This kiss came with the same kind of gentleness as the last, but there was this bubbly feeling in it now. A kind of lightness Penny wasn’t sure she had ever felt. No one broke off the kiss this time, it just kind of faded away, leaving them both smiling, hands on each other’s slightly damp faces. 

“Wow,” said Maru. 

“Wow,” Penny breathed back. “Is that the first time one of your corny lines ever worked?” 

“First time I’ve ever tried them,” said Maru, blushing deeply. “So… stars? My house? Tonight?” Penny wiped her eyes and smiled.

“Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

 

They set up a weekly date to watch the stars. Most of the time Maru would swivel the telescope around until she found something particularly interesting or beautiful for Penny to look at. Sometimes, though, Penny explored the sky unguided, mouth hanging slightly agape at the sheer vastness of space. Every time she looked back, Maru was grinning wider than Penny had ever seen anyone grin. Just because she was so happy to see Penny experience the weird, gorgeous endlessness of the heavens. A few months ago, Penny wasn’t sure that she would have understood the appeal of staring through a telescope.

Then again, Penny was quickly becoming fond of the weird and gorgeous.

“So if we want to get out of this galaxy,” said Maru, her eye pressed to the telescope’s lens. “Andromeda’s our best bet. It’s too far away to even pick out individual stars, but it’s the only galaxy close enough to the Milky Way to see. Scientists have even discovered a couple planets there in the last few years!”

“So we’re planning a vacation, then?” asked Penny, giggling. Maru looked back at her, hair slightly flyaway, practically buzzing with enthusiasm. 

“Not exactly,” she said. “But maybe… maybe if I double down on my research I could sketch out plans for an intergalactic voyage!” She laughed, her face quickly turning berry red. “Listen to me. I’m talking like a little kid.” Penny reached down and cupped Maru’s soft cheek in her hand. In the darkness Maru’s pupils were wide, her glasses reflecting the dim yellow porchlight. Penny imagined that she could see the stars in there. 

“I love it,” she said. She turned her own eyes towards the sky. Last week Maru had insisted on keeping the both of them up until three in the morning to watch a meteor shower. Stars (or, as Maru had called them, “meteoroids” or “hot space dust”) had streaked across the sky in bright white blazes, and Maru had squeezed Penny’s hand the entire time. Tonight, though, the sky was as calm as could be, stars shining, the Andromeda Galaxy a hazy patch in the far-off distance. 

“I want to take you to the stars,” whispered Maru. 

“I want to see them,” said Penny. She kissed Maru on the forehead and clasped her hand. “But for now, I think I’m okay right here, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a little bit rough-hewn and I'm not totally satisfied but I really wanted to post it. please leave comments to let me know what you thought!


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